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Issue #384: Still not a fan of Coinbase

Dec 20, 2018
Marty's Ƀent

Issue #384: Still not a fan of Coinbase

As some of you freaks who have been reading this rag for a while now may know, ya boi isn't the biggest fan of Coinbase. I've spent enough time purveying the horizons of this cryptocurrency mania from my proverbial perch that I believe I have an innate ability to spot bullshit and fuckery that may not be so apparent to those of you who are relatively new to Bitcoin.

smh Coinbase

Coinbase is a company that repeatedly attempted to exert influence over the Bitcoin network between 2014-2017 by supporting extremely contentious forks like Classic, XT, BU, and Segwit2x. They have displayed an abysmal understanding of ethics with their reluctance to list ETC after the DAO hard fork and ninja launch of BCash on a random Tuesday night around this time last year (in the middle of a coordinated media blitz on behalf of BCH).

The oft-heralded exchange has been an abject failure in all of its attempts to change the Bitcoin protocol and have lost the faith of many longtime Bitcoiners. As a result, it seems the exchange has made a full-on pivot to pumping a token economy built on Ethereum as evidenced by them now offering more ERC20 tokens than actual cryptocurrencies at the moment. Their latest attempt to "make fetch happen" has led to a "12 days of Coinbase" that has been rolled out over the last two weeks. This neverending PR stunt is chock full with all of the nauseating virtue signaling bullshit one can handle in a fortnight; giving away $10,000 worth of ZCash to Venezuelans being the most stomach turning. Yesterday's surprise was an "educational" platform where users can "Earn™ crypto" for learning about the bags they will be holding for years. This shameless ploy is more propaganda shilling than education, loaded with lofty ideals and promises for a tokenized future.

If the shameless shilling of worthless tokens to poor retail investors wasn't enough, Coinbase's lawyers are hard at work attempting to influence legislation so they can create a regulatory moat to position their products as "government approved" before their competitors can comply. Telling regulators that Bitcoin is centralized and wasteful and that their stable coin

smdh Coinbase

At the end of the day, these assholes have completely lost the plot. Yes, it's fair to say Bitcoin would probably not be where it is today without the services they provided early on in Bitcoin's existence. However, that does not mean we must show Coinbase an unlimited amount of goodwill. They have repeatedly pissed on the public's face while telling us it's raining. I choose not to use their services, and I would advise you to do the same.

Final thought...

Mucinex dreams are weird dreams.


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